Questions

I usually say I like to give answers rather than questions, but I think that's only for social purposes.

I realized that I am a very curious person which gives me the fuel of wanting to learn. I would read random articles or attempt to think of something of my own, but ultimately fail).
There's so many things that people already know (or should know) which we call common knowledge, yes? I have the tendency of neglecting that sometimes (which I usually regret since it makes me look stupid) and look at the smaller, more uncommon things.

People would usually see these smaller things as immoral or useless. Whyyyyy?
Don't treat everything like shit, you guys! We derive knew ideas or inventions from these crackpot theories! I'm pretty damn sure we had plenty of situations like this as in some people/person brings up something and everyone's like "Noooooooo~", but then later proved wrong and praise it. I believe we have. Many times.
But then again, some things are just absolutely preposterous such as the Nibiru collision. It contradicts so many laws and people still believe in it.

Even though I question myself often, I don't like sharing it with the world. It's probably because I feel like I don't have enough background knowledge or something of that sort. But that just ruins the point of asking questions, right?
I don't know jfkdlajfdlf.

Nostalgia

Return home.

Nostalgia, reminiscing, retrospecting.. or however you like to call it, is something so unique and mind blowing in everyones lives, yes?
Assuming that we all agree on this, let's move on.

I'd have to admit, despite my shitty past (terrible grades, horrific habits, etc.) I admire so many different aspects of it. The biggest part of my past would definitely have to be friends. I had an assload of friends (or so I think) and they were all very important to me. There was some down parts with these friends of mine which I rather not mention, but I had one hell of a time anyways. Even though I had decent social skills, I always stayed home. Therefore, I didn't have a beautiful.. 'outside' life like I should have.

What's weird is that even though I never had much of an outside life, I feel like I did. I would listen to music from M83, Boards of Canada, or Nujabes and imagine amazing landscapes or simple outside activities. Aside from daydreaming, I would also have dreams about things similar to this. I would feel like a completely different person, or maybe just a person I would want to be?

Thinking about things like this reminds me of past lives and reincarnation quite often.
Some people say that if you close your eyes and relax you can start seeing places, people, or activities that aren't even familiar to you. Well, there's more that rather than just laying down with your eyes closed since anyone can do that, haha. Point is, how is it possible that we can imagine these detailed images without knowing how we thought of it? Is it because we've seen things similar to them and just recreated it as our own?

The Red Book

On Saturday, I was reading current even articles and came across the news that "The Red Book" by Carl Jung has been publicly released.
I was never familiar with Carl Jung nor The Red Book, but I am quite familiar with Sigmund Freud, who he studied under. I remember reading a few years back about Freud's concept of the psychosexual development. I don't really know how I started reading about that and it does seem disgusting, but it was worth it. Freud has also received critique on this theory, particularly from females. Although I have not directly experienced his concepts, they seem quite convincing especially due to the media and personal stories from others. I'm very intrigued by his studies including how he adapted the "pressure technique" from Breuer's female hysteria case.

Our development relies on our brain. How we develop our specific actions or thoughts isn't pin-pointed yet and I doubt it ever will. The brain is too complex to fully analyze, but we can pick out the obvious things and if we're lucky enough－ the more difficult. It's just astonishing how people come up with these things.
A specific division of psychology I like the most would be depth psychology. Being related to my previous blog; it includes the study of dreams, complexes and archetypes. Since it's a mind twisting subject with endless possibilities that are yet unconfirmed.

I'm glad that The Red Book is being publicly displayed at the Rubin Museum in New York and excited that the translated version is being released this December. Due to its massive size, it's pretty expensive. Not only does it include Jung's theories, but it includes rich illustrations of Buddhist symbols and mythological creatures; which catches to my interests for complex and abstract art.

I find it interesting how this book was never published until now; which makes me think of all of the other documents or books that still remain unpublished. I'm a very curious person and if I learn something new, I WILL look into it. And of course, one thing will lead to another and it will just become an endless loop that I just can't fully comprehend.

Philosophy

So, there's this song called Casker by Humming Urban Stereo; one of my favourite artists. And in that song, there's this amazing philosophical conversation between a man and a woman about brain activity after death (like dreams) and reincarnation. As I carefully listened to what they were saying, it tripped me the fuck out. I was compelled like no other and had to find the source to this.

Google, being the god of the internet, answered my prayers and came across this blog talking about a movie called "Waking Life". Apparently, the conversation was an extracted fragment from that movie. I don't quite know what this movie is about, but hearing that conversation and reading other scene descriptions really makes me want to watch this movie (it's entirely done in a rotoscope animation).

This conversation alone reawakened my interests for philosophy, dreams, and reincarnation. I was always fascinated by them, but felt like I lacked knowledge to really get involved with it actively. I've had numerous dreams that felt like it held some kind of significance to me, no matter how random it seemed.
I recall having a dream a year or so ago about my bestfriend, Jason, who passed away when I was 11. I was in a small, isolated white room that had a large sliding glass door. The room itself was tinted cerulean, so it seemed like it was early in the morning. Jason then appeared out of nowhere in front of me, saying hello and asking how I was; telling me how much he's missed me. I was overwhelmed with happiness and chatted with him. The dream itself felt so realistic and his body and face changed as if he were the age he'd be now. He would then disappear momentarily and come back with gifts (I remember one of them was an Asian-styled clothes hanger drying thing with pandas on it). And then finally he told me that he had to go. I was sad that he had to go, but then he said that he was able to revisit every 25 minutes. He then gave me a warm hug, and departed.

I then woke up, realizing the fact that it was impossible for him to visit ever again.

It was an emotional dream, and I think about it often. It makes me wonder why I didn't forget that dream right when I woke up (common thing that happens to everyone), but I assumed because it was such a powerful dream. I'm not religious, so I'm not going to babble how God created that for me or something, but I do believe in souls. It's really hard to think of the purpose of the dreams you recieve every night (most of which you forget without knowing it).

As for reincarnation, I'm really uncertain of it. All I know is it's basic definition and that it came from Buddhism and Hinduism. I personally think it depends from the person's perspective since some people believe that if you had good karma in your life, you will be reincarnated into something good. I heard about how you can be reincarnated into either an animal or person; some people throw in bullshit like being reincarnated into 'objects', but I wouldn't know.

Anyways, that's it for today. I think I might want to read a couple of books on these types of things.
Any recommendations?

Annotation Love

(1.) […] In almost every audience I address, there is someone who will suggest that racism is a thing of the past.

Treating history like nothing? If we're ignorant of the past, won't we repeat it?

Adding on to my little annotation up there:

I must admit, we've been neglecting our past generation's lives. Sure, things have moved on for the better, but discrimination still goes on; and we can't stop that. Unfortunately, that's not an excuse for our ignorance. I don't mean to sound like a butt hurt historian trying to stand up for old geezers who went through many wars and imprisonment, but seriously guys; you shouldn't be treating these things like shit because they'll eventually just come back and bite you in the ass.

Blocks

Ahhh. Screw blocks.
I'd think of so many great ideas to write about, but eventually trap myself into a block. It's not that I just don't know what else to say.. Sometimes, the fact that I don't know enough about that subject just ruins the whole thing. I wouldn't know how to back myself up or how to properly display my opinions. And if I try to research into it a little more, there's just too much information for me to intake for a puny little blog. I'd need more than a few hours or days to fully understand everything. Writing is hard to do even if you don't have any limitations..

For example:
I tried to write about the younger generation's opinion towards history relating to an article I found a few days ago. Seeing how it relates to Stalin and gulag survivors; I needed to research more. I only knew general information, not much details so I tried to stuff multiple articles into my head, which ultimately failed which resulted into a bawfest of having nothing else to write.

Lately, I also haven't been drawing much. Sometimes I'd do a couple of weird, abstract doodles but that's about it. I just have no ideas at allllllllllllllllllll. It's really depressing to see a hobby so dear to me go down the drain because of a stupid block. Maybe it's because I haven't been exposing myself to new ideas? I guess that relates to writing since you have to read in order to write, right? On top of that, I don't feel very motivated to draw either D: It's mostly because I've been seeing no improvements for the past couple of months..

WELL, hopefully I will come up with better ideas rather than bullshitting everything because in the end, it just screws me over.