Sup

I found my old writing fluencies from last year!
They disappoint me. A lot.

I would like to revisit this old topic and 'reflect'..

Identity:
I wrote about how I'm heavily influenced by art and always enjoyed going to museums and antique shops. I would randomly doodle and try out new styles ALL the time! I also wanted to advance my art into a career in the future..
Yeah, that's not happening anymore. I realized that I'm not that creative and I'm a slow developer.. Drawing has been depressing me lately since I feel like I can't do anything. Like, I wouldn't know exactly WHAT to draw. Drawing people isn't fun because they look the same and it's just difficult kdsljfklsdjfkl. It's just so hard for me ;_; I considered a crap load of things like industrial design, illustration, game art/character developer (whatever it's called). Now it's just a minor hobby :l
Screw my life.

I've been feeling like a total failure lately and it's killing meeeeeee. I also realized what kind of made me unmotivated to learn by myself in the first place (although that gets contradicted for short periods of time):
In the 2nd grade, my teacher was talking about presidents of the U.S. So first came up our father, George Washington. She asked us if we knew any facts about him. I raised my hand excitingly and said that he cut down a cherry tree. She then said that was a myth and I was crushed to humiliation.
Everyone else said obvious things like he was the first president or he had fake teeth.
WHY DIDN'T I SAY ANY OF THOSE?!
I'm so dumb sometimes ;______;
But yeah.
That depressed me for a long time and it still haunts me. I can't describe how awful I felt. It's not even that bad.. but still. Really.

Mother

God damn. My computer froze last night and I fell asleep.
It didn't reboot until.. I don't know when ;____;

Well, I'm going write about stories and events my mother told me. She's excellent at pissing me off and making me laugh.

First off, she told me a story about an ant and a man she read in a book.
There was this man who was completely useless. He wasn't good at anything and would constantly get picked on by his mother and sister. So, one day he went up the mountains to get an ant to train it into a circus animal. He trained it vigorously and gave it care for a year. His family thought he was insane. It learned how to do various tricks like a handstand and other weird crap. Finally, he decided to take the ant into the city to show its talent. Before heading to his rich and fame, he went to a nice fancy restaurant for a pre-celebration. He wanted to show his ants first act to the waiter so the man asked for his attention saying, "Look here at this ant!" and before he could continue the waiter exclaimed, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry for our lack of pest control" and he squished the ant.


Aside from a story about an ant that could be fiction or non-fictional, here is a truly non-fictional story my mother told me about herself.
So, when she first came to the fatherland, THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, she obviously didn't know a lot of things like the difference between housepets and wild animals. She was about 23 at the time and was driving around at like 2am in her Nissan sports car (or something) and came across a racoon. Thinking it was a housepet lost in the streets of San Francisco, she opened her car door and attempted to lure it in. The racoon just stared at her. She tried this for a good.. 10-15 minutes and then gave up and just drove off. When she got home, she talked to her friend about it and her friend freaked out saying it was a wild animal that usually has rabies. My mother then proceeded to freak out and now she's terrified of racoons.

On top of that, my mom sends me super asian texts. Sometimes using all caps to emphasize.

Statement of Purpose the Second

Well, I never really had a "Statement of Purpose" since I wasn't even in this class when we wrote it. But－ I did have something similar to it, "Overall Goals".

So let's start of with my grades:
I've never done so well in my lifeee. It's really strange yet amazing. It brings me so much joy and achievement that I've been doing sooo good. I just have a few problems.
I complain about history and judo.

History: This is one of my favourite subjects yet it happens to be my very least favourite class. What makes it so miserable to me would be my teacher and our unproductive assignments. To be honest, I really shouldn't be complaining about something like this, but I just can't help myself. Our assignments seem so unorganized and more complex than it really happens to be. It just depresses me. I came to this class to learn fucking history and I get a bunch of bullshit cornell notes to-go.

Judo: I was looking forward to this class so much. My friend would always tell me how fun it is and that I should join once I'm a sophmore. Ahhh.. I came in the worst year. This year, it's extremely over-crowded since the majority of people only joined to escape the dreadful "pacers" from P.E. It's really disappointing how people don't even put the effort in participating. It's also harder to get individual time with each person since that was the fun part of it. Now I just go to this class frustrated, exhausted, and unmotivated.

I also mentioned talking about how I wanted to learn many foreign languages.
Yeah, the idea is insane, but I'm happy to say that I'm still with this goal and I'm picking up on my Japanese again (kind of). I also realized it's easier and more fun to learn with people rather than alone..

Ahhh bratwurst.. Money ;A;
I've been doing a terrible job at "saving" haha. Especially the fact that I recently got 3 cavities filled which totaled to a whopping $804 without insurance. I know it's not my money, but the fact that I'm wasting my mother's pisses me offff. I'm guessing I have to start out a little smaller than I expected.

As for expanding my mind..
I feel like I don't have the time to do anything! But I'm trying. And I really have.
Also, it's kind of hard being public with my thoughts since it's annoying hearing people's immature feedback.