Mother

God damn. My computer froze last night and I fell asleep.
It didn't reboot until.. I don't know when ;____;

Well, I'm going write about stories and events my mother told me. She's excellent at pissing me off and making me laugh.

First off, she told me a story about an ant and a man she read in a book.
There was this man who was completely useless. He wasn't good at anything and would constantly get picked on by his mother and sister. So, one day he went up the mountains to get an ant to train it into a circus animal. He trained it vigorously and gave it care for a year. His family thought he was insane. It learned how to do various tricks like a handstand and other weird crap. Finally, he decided to take the ant into the city to show its talent. Before heading to his rich and fame, he went to a nice fancy restaurant for a pre-celebration. He wanted to show his ants first act to the waiter so the man asked for his attention saying, "Look here at this ant!" and before he could continue the waiter exclaimed, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry for our lack of pest control" and he squished the ant.


Aside from a story about an ant that could be fiction or non-fictional, here is a truly non-fictional story my mother told me about herself.
So, when she first came to the fatherland, THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, she obviously didn't know a lot of things like the difference between housepets and wild animals. She was about 23 at the time and was driving around at like 2am in her Nissan sports car (or something) and came across a racoon. Thinking it was a housepet lost in the streets of San Francisco, she opened her car door and attempted to lure it in. The racoon just stared at her. She tried this for a good.. 10-15 minutes and then gave up and just drove off. When she got home, she talked to her friend about it and her friend freaked out saying it was a wild animal that usually has rabies. My mother then proceeded to freak out and now she's terrified of racoons.

On top of that, my mom sends me super asian texts. Sometimes using all caps to emphasize.