Sup

I found my old writing fluencies from last year!
They disappoint me. A lot.

I would like to revisit this old topic and 'reflect'..

Identity:
I wrote about how I'm heavily influenced by art and always enjoyed going to museums and antique shops. I would randomly doodle and try out new styles ALL the time! I also wanted to advance my art into a career in the future..
Yeah, that's not happening anymore. I realized that I'm not that creative and I'm a slow developer.. Drawing has been depressing me lately since I feel like I can't do anything. Like, I wouldn't know exactly WHAT to draw. Drawing people isn't fun because they look the same and it's just difficult kdsljfklsdjfkl. It's just so hard for me ;_; I considered a crap load of things like industrial design, illustration, game art/character developer (whatever it's called). Now it's just a minor hobby :l
Screw my life.

I've been feeling like a total failure lately and it's killing meeeeeee. I also realized what kind of made me unmotivated to learn by myself in the first place (although that gets contradicted for short periods of time):
In the 2nd grade, my teacher was talking about presidents of the U.S. So first came up our father, George Washington. She asked us if we knew any facts about him. I raised my hand excitingly and said that he cut down a cherry tree. She then said that was a myth and I was crushed to humiliation.
Everyone else said obvious things like he was the first president or he had fake teeth.
WHY DIDN'T I SAY ANY OF THOSE?!
I'm so dumb sometimes ;______;
But yeah.
That depressed me for a long time and it still haunts me. I can't describe how awful I felt. It's not even that bad.. but still. Really.